A Man’s Speech Determines Who He Is

#FIRST STORY#

A few years ago, I met an old tennis friend of mine. After not meeting one another for a long time, she asked me, “So, Ma’am, are you still playing tennis?”

–       I answered her enthusiastically, “Of course! Tennis is my favorite sport!”

–       She asked again, “Who do you play with?” And I gave her a few names of coaches as opponent players.

–       Then she said, “Hmm, if you play only with coaches, they will always give in to you, how can you improve”

I kept quiet and just smiled. She doesn’t understand that I do not play to win, but to get some sweat our of my body, to train my stiff muscles, and to train my body’s immune system so that it does not deteriorate. This is because I love to go for picnics and walk for kilometers, and I had to overcome journeys up and down hills.

I see that my friend’s point of view only reflects her mindset, and it is not a reality.

#SECOND STORY#

This morning, as I was again training with my coach, I met the same friend who asked me to join their group to play. Not only her, but there were some other friends in the group who had asked me several times to join.

Once, I joined them but I went out again because the group did not give me what I needed. I need serious training, not just mere play for fun. Besides, if I play with friends, I feel that I would be troubling them if I did not play well.

Just assume that she is Mrs. Yuli.

Mrs. Yuli: “Mrs. Hera, come on. Let’s join again in the group!”

Me: “Thank you, Mrs. Yuli. But I feel more comfortable playing with the coach that I paid for myself. If I don’t play well, I don’t trouble anyone.”

Mrs. Yuli: “Mrs Hera, who said like that (being a trouble to the group)? Ask a hundred people and maybe not one of them even said that.

Slap!! I felt like I was slapped on my face. I realized that others might not think the way I think. It was only my point of view, my opinion. And again, it was too subjective! I felt so ashamed and I apologized.

Me: “Thank you, Mrs. Yuli. I will give it a second thought.”

From the two stories above, it is apparent that a person’s point of view or opinion does not explain about a topic yet. And the first thing to do is to first explain a person’s existence before the topic. It can at times be far from  the reality.

#THE LESSON:

1. Be very careful in giving a statement. Repeatedly consider the good and bad impacts that it will cause and the feedback that we will receive.
2. In socializing, we can actually read what has not been said in an exact manner, it represents an entire mindset (a way of thinking, perspective, character, intelligence). However, what is more important is to “read” the character and values of life of the person we are talking to, so that we may understand and do not get trapped in a situation that we do not wish for. (HH/DS) 

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